THAT ONE TIME YOU COULD HAVE HOOKED UP WITH A ROCK STAR AND NOTHING HAPPENED

So, three vodka sodas and tight red dress later, you will be sitting in the Venetian hotel buzzed alone (don’t worry- your friends are at a neighboring table) playing penny slots. You will be praying you inherited your Mother’s gambling luck but realize luck isn’t a trait transferred genetically. You will be minding your own business, shouting at an inanimate object, when some dude,with a matty beard and a beanie, will roll up next to you trying to chat you up. He won’t realize your inherent competitive nature kicks into high gear when drinking and that there is nothing worse than disturbing you when you are losing to a computer (which you are convinced is rigged).

He will proceed to court you and drop his name waiting for a reaction. One blank stare and uncomfortably long silent pause later, he will collect himself and try again. This time he will drop the entirety of his band’s name  then pause for a reaction. The name will sound familiar, but you won’t be able to place it. Offended by your ignorance, he will get agitated, but he won’t give up. You will quickly realize his entire band is staring at you from across the lobby, watching him fumble his way through his pick up routine (which you assume is typically pretty flawless). He’s the lead singer of a Grammy award-winning band but you will be too entranced by the slots to entertain any offers. For his last hurray, he will invite you to the House of Blues and his hotel room, that’s where he is heading for the rest of the night , if you want to change your mind, but you don’t. You tell him you’re feeling really lucky and you’ve got to stick with this roll. He will leave offended and perplexed. You will cash out 14 cents later.

The next morning, you do a quick Google search (it’s a search engine and it’s your life. Yahoo is for losers). You have to know if this bearded creep was a con artist or a smashing star. You will be pissed to know you turned down a night with a real life rock star but feel dignified in your decision when you realize he’s the father of children who is also married. Sometimes, I hate how righteous you are, even if you do it unknowningly.

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