SHOWERING WITH STRANGERS

There’s nothing more intimate than showering with someone. This usually marks your foray from a hook up into a relationship. Why? Because showering with strangers is weird. In a shower, you see everything. You can’t hide anything. When you hook up, you usually do it in bed. You usually do it in the dark, but you NEVER take a shower in the dark. First of all, who does that? It’s creepy. Second, you don’t want to waste your $20 dollar shampoo by  confusing it with your body wash. You also don’t want death by shower listed on your death certificate. Anyways, I digress. The point is- you love living in the moment. Sometimes that lands you in a NYC loft with a broody investment banker –other times it lands you in a 30 year-old CE’s/frat boy’s shower.

There will be this guy. You will see him everywhere for a few months (nothing new for you, of course.) But, somehow, this guy will become intertwined into your social network. He will hit on you every time you see him, but you’ll never be interested enough to follow through. The more you see him, the more he grows on you. Familiarity has a way of breeding an attraction you would never entertain. Anyways, you end up at the same dinner party one night. You will be placed next to each other at the dinner table (yes, there was arranged seating.) At this point, you figure, why not? You’ll chat it up the entire night. You have at least 10 run-ins to reminisce about. One thing will lead to another and you will end up back at his place (AKA THE FRAT HO– USE.) You’re still on the fence about this guy. You won’t sleep with him. You’ll head to his bedroom, but he’ll quickly suggest jumping in the shower. You’ll look at him bewildered. He must be out of his mind. At the same time, why not? This is when you take a shower with a stranger. There’s no foul play here. The most X- rated this got (besides the whole being naked part) was a make out sesh. When you shower or take a bath with someone (yes, you also took a bath with someone you never slept with too) it creates this weird form of intimacy that doesn’t exist yet. It forges a connection that maybe you don’t want.

So you are probably wondering what the heck what happened with this guy? Because you showered with the dude, you felt compelled to give this guy a shot. So there you are, stuck with this really hot shower memory, with a guy you aren’t really into. However, you still go on a few dates. One night, you go to his place for some wine. You look at his TV and his computer screensaver is illuminated on the screen. What is the screensaver? Glad you asked. It’s a million photos of a million different girls NAKED. Not even my guy friends are dumb enough to stream their porn  stash on their TVs. Of course, I had to say something. When I called him out, do you know what he said? He said—“Oh, I never noticed that before. (ARE YOU BLIND?!) I need to change up some of those photos. You get tired of staring at the same tits, it must be like marriage.” EXC– USE ME, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU (HIM, not you, you’re perfect)?! Of course, I quickly made up some excuse to leave and NEVER hung out with him again –YUCK. Here’s my advice– shower with someone you love or at least have a schoolgirl crush on. It’s fun to live in the moment, of course. But, here’s the thing, this guy will always remember you naked in his gross shower. Every time you see him (yes, you have run into him since then), you will involuntarily flashback to that moment and TRUST ME that moment is definitely etched into his memory. So you took a shower with the porn guy… YOLO (it’s an acronym– you’ll use every time you do something stupid.)

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