SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN

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When it comes to dating, you have to go through phases. There’s the first few dates– it’s the whole getting to know each other phase. Once you move past your first date, your first kiss and your first of many other things, you move into new territory.  So, now you’re in the phase I call, “Oh shit, I think I actually like this person.” You’re not officially dating but you’re past the beginning dates- you’re stuck in between. You start to notice little quirks and you enjoy this person’s company. So you start thinking like this, “We’re just hanging out. Wait, are we like kind of dating? Am I suppose to introduce him to my friends? What the fuck is he thinking? Do I even like this person? OMG, stop. Wait, I think I really like him. Do I even know him?”

These are called, “crazy girl thoughts.” Every girl in the WORLD has them. Whether they want to own them is their problem. So, you’re probably thinking, “Great, thanks for written narration of your own crazy. I didn’t need written confirmation. Why are you telling me this?” Glad you asked. So, here’s the deal. Everyone has encountered this conundrum before. You will encounter this situation on more than one occasion. So, what the fuck do you do when you are trying to figure out how YOU feel? Well, first of all, don’t rely on someone else to make a decision for you. Only you can decide if you like someone. The guy you’re dating can’t tell you if you like them, only you can measure that. Second, don’t rush anything. You’re trying to decide if this is someone you actually want to date (he should be so lucky, duh)—not the other way around. Remember- no one is perfect. The more you get to know someone, the more you are going to notice their habits, their communication style and their intentions. That being said, don’t look for excuses to bounce—I know you. When you really feel ready to talk about how you feel, you’ll know and it will just happen. That doesn’t meet put it off for 8 months because you’re worried he’ll think you’re clingy.  But, don’t bring it up until you’ve decided this is someone you want to explore in a more long-term way. Calm down, I don’t mean that kind of long term, I mean exclusively date.  If you think you can bring this up after a 4th or 5th date, drive yourself to the closest mental institution (cus you’re fucking crazy). There’s no set time to have a conversation. Every relationship is different. You can’t use past experiences or someone else’s experiences to look for a clue for the “perfect time to talk.” There’s no perfect anything. So, stop that search before you start it. Just continue having fun and feel it out.

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